Im a college student with dyslexia and at 25 will finally graduate college with my brother who is four years younger then me. Even though I'm glad my learning disability was caught early in my life, it still doesn't make up for all the humiliation and social pain that I have experienced.

My family always looks at me funny when I talk about my dreams for graduate school, as if they don't think I can do it on a C average. You see everyone is my family down to my grandparents have all graduated from this particular university, gone on to get masters and doctorates in several subjects, and then there's me. The dyslexic one. I would like your advice as to how to handle my family's treatment, as I have tried to make them see that I am not this stupid, lazy, socially inept woman which they continue to remind me of, from my past experiences. It really hurts when your own family thinks you're a complete idiot.

As it stands, I have no one else to talk to about this, no friends, no relatives to confide in and I feel as if on my last leg. There's more to life then a degree I realize, but Im just figuring out now who it is I want to be, and I'm hurt because my family is embarassed by me. They refuse to see the person I've become, especially my siblings who constantly remind me what an idiot I am.

Any advice is welcome.

Signed,

Dyslexic and Down.

First, you need to be proud of yourself! Measure your accomplishments against no one else. You go and be the best that you can be, don't worry about anyone else. Chase your own dreams and don't be bound by the conventions and standards of others, including your own relatives! But make sure that your dreams really are your own and not what you think your dreams should be.

As for your families' attitude, you probably need to be a little less sensitive. They probably don't realize just how badly you feel about their callousness. Siblings grow up "picking on" and teasing the "odd man out" in the family even when they shouldn't. This does not mean that they don't love and care for you. Affection is often express by teasing.

My father used to always call me "Tangle-foot" because I was so clumsy and bumped into things all the time. To his credit, I wasn't diagnosed with my eye disease until well after his death. But I knew that his teasing was affectionate and that he was proud of and loved me. I'm sure that your family is proud of your progress and loves you too!

Boomer

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It seems from your letters, that even though you were diagnosed with dyslexia early in life, it continues to be an overwhelming issue for you and your family.

My suggestion first would be to find a support group of some sort where people with dyslexia or similar characteristics could give you some ideas for handling the diagnosis and your family. Keep searching the Internet or ask your doctor, there's bound to be something!

The important thing I think would be to make sure you and your family completely understand dyslexia. After that, I would think concentrating on your other skills and characteristics would be more motivating and worthwile.

I guess in a kind of warped way you could be refreshed by the opportunity to try whatever interest you in life rather than beconing another family clone!

"X"

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