What are the "traditions" regarding inviting the brides family to a bachelor party? A few months ago my family was not invited to my now husbands bachelor party. I am very hurt by this exclusion. My husband says it was up to his best man to invite the guests, and that it was a "tradition" to not invite the brides family. I feel my husband could have invited who he wished and no one would have cared.

My family had traveled from out of state to come to the wedding and was staying with us in our house at the time of the party. This was the first time my husband had met my sister and her husband, and my brother. My sister told me that my husband talked a lot about what a great party he was going to have and that he never said a word to her husband about coming or why my brother-in-law was not invited.

I feel weddings are about bringing families together and not inviting my side of the family implies, he doesn't want to be a part of my family.

My husband has stated that if I ask around that I will find out that it is a long standing tradition that family is not invited to bachelor parties. I have not done this because I am embarrassed by how he treated my family.

This is the only inconsiderate thing he has done since I have known him. I am having trouble getting over this because I really wanted my family to like him as much as I do, and I want him to be a part of my family.

The groom can invite whomever he chooses to his bachelor party. Granted, if it were a surprise party, he may not have had the opportunity to make a complete list. Many grooms, depending on age or family structures or the nature of the event, may limit their guest lists to friends of the same age, brothers and fathers - almost always including the bride's family. Why didn't you encourage your groom to invite your family before the event? Telling him how much it would mean to you to include them and get to know them may have been the best way to communicate your feelings. Now that it is over, and you've made it clear you were hurt, tell him to lay off the excuses and just recognize your feelings, then plan a future meeting or vacation to visit those members of your family that you'd like your husband to spend quality time with.

"X"

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OK, let's get the part about asking around about this "tradition" out of the way first. You did (you asked us!) and it's NOT traditional to exclude ANYONE EVER from any festivity. Rudeness is NEVER traditional! A case in point, "X's" husband's bachelor party even included her old fogey father!

That out of the way, I'm concerned that you took the time to write about this incident "a few months" later! If it is the "only time" your husband has ever been inconsiderate, why are you holding on to it? If that is the case, get over it, it's done. Or is the bachelor party exclusion just an example of your husband's lack of interest or dislike of your family? If so, that is a whole 'nother problem! Write again!

"Boomer"