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I am being invited to a wedding in March of 98, which is bringing up some questions.
The individual who is getting married was married for three weeks about two years ago. At the time no attempt was made to return the shower gifts, or the wedding gifts. I was rather surprised, since it seemed the wedding lasted longer than the marriage! It was a situation where the two should never have gotten married and as I said it lasted three weeks.
Now, this person is getting married again (to a different gal) and I have questions about "gifts". They both (the "current" couple) have a home together and have been living together for over a year. The last time money was requested for the wedding.... They are in their late 20's and share a child and their home is complete. So, here I go again with showers and weddings!
So my question is.... am I still obligated to get a gift? (I most likely will) Do I have to spend as much on this wedding as the last?
Thanks for letting me sound off!
"X"
I see no reason to penalize wife Number Two for the failure of marriage number one! Since wife Number Two appears to have been around a lot longer than wife Number One (based on the three weeks vs. a year of living together), maybe this marriage will work.
Back to the gift situation...you are never "obligated" to give a gift! You can excuse yourself from the showers and guests at a wedding are SUPPOSED to be there to celebrate the day, not stock the pantry! So, no gifts are required. However, if you care enough to want to celebrate this marriage (and are not just going for the food and drink) a gift is a token of your love and best wishes. Give what your heart and pocketbook tell you to give. If the happy couple has "everything", then give something different and meaningful, a gift certificate for a nice dinner out, a fancy picture frame for their wedding photo, etc.
"Boomer"
Gifts should be a token of your congratulations and best wishes for the couple - not a symbol of your approval or disapproval about their behavior or choice of mates. Give a gift, heck show up, only if you have sincere intentions.