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I am getting married in a little over a year and have an invitation etiquette question. The reason my fiance and I have decided to have a large wedding is to share our special day with all the people who have touched our lives. My parents are paying for everything as our wedding gift. What is the problem you ask? Well, lately I have been hearing that a lot of people think that a big wedding is for families to show off and greedy couples to gain gifts and money. I realize that it traditionally is rude to mention gifts in a wedding invitation, but we feel it may be appropriate to add "Gifts are not necessary." What do you think about this? Is there another, better way for us to tell our guests that we want them to come and enjoy themselves while we all celebrate? If we do add that gifts are not necessary, where would be the best part? (We are including response cards) We will not have a money dance, money tree, or wishing well.
Unfortunately, I'm no etiquette expert - however everything I've read in these bridal magazines says we are to never mention gifts (whether to bring or not to bring) on invitations of any sort.
I imagine guests will make appropriate decisions for themselves - whether you let things take the natural course or perhaps you pass some hints by word of mouth.
Meanwhile, be grateful your parents are spending the money for such a large event and concentrate on making it a memorable day for you and your families.
Congrats!
"X"
If the people you are inviting to your wedding celebration are truly people you care about and who care about you then don't worry about what "other people think"! Your real friends and relatives will want to be there for you on your special day.
However, if the list of people who "touched your lives" includes the dog groomer, the salesman who sells you office supplies, all those who "owe you", your cousin's husband's brother-in-law and your mom's bridge group ; then perhaps you should opt for a smaller wedding, no matter who is paying for it!
Absolutely, do not add the phrase "Gifts are not necessary" to your invitations! That gifts are not necessary is a given and expressing that obvious statement just make you sounds guilty!
"Boomer"
I certainly understand your predicament - I'm also uncomfortable with the assumption that planning a large wedding reflects an expectance of numerous gifts.