Hi,
I am 15 years old, almost 16. Ok, there is this guy right? We will call him "Ed". Ed and I have been friends since second grade and in the past two years we have become better friends. Within the past 4 or 5 months, I have secretly fallen in love with him.

I act normal around him and stuff, being sure not to let him suspect that I like him as more that a friend. We are like brother and sister. Sometimes I think that he may like me as more than a friend, but then I realize that it is probably my imagination.

My mom and his mom work together and his mom is always telling my mom things that Ed says about me. Then my mom tells me and he totally switched the situation around. Like one time he told his mom that when he was at my soccer game and I got hurt I came over and told him what happened and wanted him to make it all better. Actually what happened was that he asked me what happened and asked if I needed anything.

Then for Christmas, he spent more money on me than he did on his mom and dad. These are the times I think he likes me, but then there are the times that it's like I don't exist. When he is with his guy friends, I know not to talk to him unless he talks to me first. It is not that he is ashamed that we are friends, but just because.

I don't know whether to let him know I like him or not. I am afraid it will destroy our friendship, and that is the most important thing to me. Please respond with some advice before I go crazy.

Friends in California

Dear "Friends,"
Don't rock the boat! Telling "Ed" that you are in love with him could seriously change your friendship and not necessarily for the better. If he is not ready for more than friendship, your declaration of love will make him very uncomfortable and guys don't deal with messy emotions well. They just avoid the source!

He may, as you suspect, like you a lot and not even realize it yet. Socially, males are slower to mature than females. Give him time.

For now, enjoy the good friendship that you have. The best relationships are built on friendships that grew into love. You're half way there!


Boomer

I remember high school as being an exciting time of constantly changing emotions and relationships. I wouldn't be surprised if by the time you read my response your feelings for Ed have changed and you're already in the midst of a new fasinating situation. If that hasn't happened already, give it time, you're facing many thrilling, confusing, upsetting and satisfying experiences in the years to come.

If you and Ed are happy as such great friends, I would suggest hanging on to that comfortable relationship. You'll be able to use the stable friendship in the years to come.

If you REALLY want to try a closer relationship, I would suggest talking to Ed and seeing how he feels. Maybe you could try a couple dates and see how it goes. It may be awkward at first, but if you're both honest and take it slow, you could always salvage your friendship if things don't work out.


"X"