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My husband's best friend has been fooling around on his wife with MANY different women since before they were married and she has no idea. They have two young children and it sickens me that he is exposing them all to AIDS and God knows what else with his promiscuities. I can't tell her or it would destroy my relationship with my husband--I've thought of an anonymous letter or a present from a "fake" girlfriend to bring the situation to her attention. I am not the only one who know about this man's sexual exploits, but among this tight knit circle of friends no one says a word. If I were in the same situation, I'd want to know. What is your advise.
As for taking the responsibility of exposing the cheater to his wife, I would thank twice - especially if she's not a friend of your other than being your husband's best friend's wife.
If it's utterly impossible for you to welcome this cheating worm, then don't! Tell your husband how you feel and explain that you cannot, will not, condone that kind of behavior.
I've learned to alienate and ignore similar slime that my fiance considers friends. By doing so, these men, and my fiance, get the message that I find what they're doing detestable.
As for their girlfriends, and wives, I don't believe it's my place to play judge and jury. I also tend to believe that in close knit circles where EVERYBODY know, there is an awful lot that NOBODY knows.
"X"
Chances are the wife DOES know, but for whatever her reasons, she is ignoring her spouse's unfaithful behavior. DO NOT confront her with the news! You will force her to either face a hideous situation or to defend her husband/relationship by denial. Either way, you will not be thanked!
If you truly believe that she and her children are in danger, tell a doctor, minister, priest or counselor who can then deal with the situation in a less judgmental and professional manner.
"Boomer"
I can understand your concern for this woman, but if I were you I'd be more concerned with why my husband was best friends with the cheating slug!