Hi! I have been dating this girl for 6 1/2 yrs and she told me two days ago that she wants to break it off. Her explanation was that she still loves me but isn't in love with me anymore. I can't seem to differentiate between the two. About Three weeks ago she suggested to me that we get married and we mutually agreed. Since then I have received Cards and letters from her that are so describing on how she feels about me , ie: I make her life complete and she doesn't know what she would do without me. But just out of the blue she calls me on a Sun(we have a long distance relationship) and says she wants to separate. Could you possibly suggest or help me out with this dilemma. I don't know what to do and want to give her some time to think cause that is what she wanted. Thank you for your time:

You "mutually agreed" on getting married? How unromantic could you possibly be?!

I understand six years is a long time to be with someone- some of that spark and excitement may have simmered down to comfort and security - but it sounds like your girlfriend has truly "fallen out of love."

I would imagine the long-distance factor has a great deal to do with your situation and even more so than that, I imagine there is a greater issue that has resulted in you dating this woman for six years and not proposing sooner

I suggest you do some major thinking and figure out what the real issue it - I find it hard to believe that she just suddenly called out of the blue to break up!

"X"

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After some time passes, the novelty and excitement of a male/female relationship generally settles into a stable, predictable lifestyle. The tension (sexual and otherwise) is gradually relieved and in its place is a comfortable security. For many people, this natural progression is viewed as less than desirable. They thrive on the thrill of the initial attraction and pursuit, so when that wears off, they perceive themselves as no longer being "in love." But, because there are still strong positive feelings, your girlfriend acknowledges those feelings by saying that she still "loves" you

It's highly possible that your girlfriend suggested marriage to bring back some of that early excitement into your relationship. Anticipating and planning a wedding (possibly a move to another city?) certainly brings an added dimension to day-to-day living! Her recent cards and letters may have been attempts to rekindle the passion of your early days of courtship.

I think that one of two things happened after you two agreed to marry. ONE: she realized that manufacturing a temporary bit of excitement wasn't going to make your relationship fulfilling enough for her and therefore, she'd better back off. Or TWO, she decided that 6.5 years is time enough for you to make up your mind and get on with life. Either you start pursuing her big time, or she'll take your acceptance of her latest plea for "time" as indifference and ultimately, the end of your relationship.

Good luck!

"Boomer"