The story behind my question, or request for advice, is long and complex. I'll try to give a short abridged version. At my work, I met a married man, he's 7 years older than I. We became close friends then moved our relationship onto a sexual level. We have remained friends and lovers for over a year now. Due to circumstances that have arose, he will be moving away soon. I guess my main problem with this is that he wasn't only a play toy or just a close friend, but I feel in love with him. I have decided not to tell him this, seeing as how he is leaving and I don't want to complicate his marriage in the least, but it hurts so much to have to keep this inside. I was just wondering if you had any advice for me, to help me get over this, remain his friend over the distance, and not get into anymore of these situations. Thank you.
My advice: get over him quickly. However, you do that depends on what's
best for you, but you have no business messing around with a married man.
You may feel all these loving things, but he's not only moving away, he's moving away with his wife! Forget trying to maintain some friendship with the man - who needs that kind of stress? Join a new club, take a class, or volunteer. Go out with some old friends or visit some distant relatives. Get over him now!
You asked for my advice, so I'm going to restrain myself and confine my words to your specific request.
First, heed your instincts and DON'T say anything to this man. Second, get on with your life and forget about "remaining his friend over the distance". This man was never your friend, he was a deceitful, slimy adulterer who used you! Lastly, the easiest way to "not get into anymore of these situations" is to not have affairs with married men and if you can't be friends with married men without having affairs, stay away from all married men!"Boomer"