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I have been constantly switched around between parents, always building new lives due to a divorce agreement that "seemed like a good idea at the time". Not too long ago, I finally found solace in a place where I could stay pretty much until I was 18, with one parent. At first I thought it was going to be one more broken promise, but after awhile I became friends with wonderful people who always were there to support me, and also began a relationship with someone who has turned my world completely upside down with euphoria. Now, here's where the fun starts. 1 month ago, my dad gave me notice that we were moving away in exactly 2 weeks, because he had a girlfriend that he wanted to move in with (across the country). No matter what I said, there was no way around it. I said sad goodbyes to all of the beautiful friends I had made, and spent long, lonely days and nights crying with my fiance, though we tried our hardest to make our last couple of days happy times. Since I've been here, my thoughts have changed so much. I'm very much in-tune to the world's suffering...I've had much lower self-esteem, mood swings...not to mention headaches, not being able to keep down anything I manage to eat, extreme difficulty breathing, and emotions darker than I had ever imagined. If I can't go back home, I need to know some way of getting over these symptoms. I know this isn't healthy or natural. What can I do to express my need to go back without making my dad feel pressured or uncomfortable? How can I make my relationship with my boyfriend happy, instead of missing each other so much it hurts? And lastly, where do I go for help with the severe physical and emotional conditions? My dad doesn't like the fact that I'm taking this so hard, and says that I don't need to get help anywhere, and that it will go away with time. I know that this isn't and won't go away by itself, and I don't know how much longer I can live with the pain. Hope you can help!
"X"
I'm sorry, but here is one time where you must tell your dad that he is wrong - you DO need to go somewhere for professional help and he MUST get you that help NOW! Since you are under the age of 18, he is responsible for your physical and emotional health and never mind if he doesn't think you need it. Normally, I would tell you that "you are young and you'll get over it" and "to make the best of things and when you are older if you still feel you need to go back, you can do so." But you are way overreacting (and I don't mean that you are over-dramatizing, just overly internalizing) and you can't continue to experience your loss so intensely. Get help.
It always sounds trite when someone says "you'll feel better in time," but
in so many ways this is true. It must be depressing to have to leave the
friends you've made, but I hope you've been able to keep in touch - with
technology, keeping in touch across thousands of miles is so simple! I
would suggest not dumping on your old friends - they may get tired of
listening to you whine and the phone calls/letters/email will become less
frequent.
The pain you're feeling is natural, so don't think it isn't. Anyone who
leaves comfortable surrondings, familar faces, and loved ones is
undoubtedly going to feel the loss. The trouble is when those feelings of
loss become so distracting a person can't focus on new projects - such as
exploring new places, enjoying new company, and developing new
relationships. If this is still the case for you, try contacting a
counselor at school (they're great in this area!) or a member of your
church. You could too, though it may sound corny, join an organization
around your neighborhood - a softball team or volunteer program. Keeping
yourself active and interested is the main key, though finding a new
friend to talk to always helps!