my husband and i have been married 9 years. he has cheated on me before.- 3 years ago was the last time. he is in severe depression (so he says right now) we havent had very much sex at all and we have been arguing alot more than usual. i came home from work early one morning and he was e-mailing someone and hurried up and shut it off. he says he loves me, but i really am worried that im losing him. i love him alot and he says he feels the same that its just depression. its nothing that i did. im lost, what do i do?

Severe depression (even moderate to mild depression) needs to be addressed and treated by a professional. Research some of your local counseling agencies and suggest to your husband that you visit one of these, either together or separately. It sounds like your husband has such feelings as hopelessness and of being trapped in his situation, yet you comment that he still shows brief signs of wanting to regain the wellness of your marriage - I'd advise you to help him take the steps to do that by continuing to give him support and by offering new avenues for alleviating his depression.

"X"

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The obvious answer is to get your husband to a doctor. His depression could be a result of a physical condition. Depression is nothing to fool with and can be managed with proper medical care. If a physical problem is not the cause, then perhaps a visit to a psychologist is in order.

If he won't go for counseling, go alone because it is entirely possible the excuse of "depression" is just that - an excuse. You will need to be able to deal with "losing him" if it comes to that.

"Boomer"