2 Views

Dear Two Views,

I wrote you previously regarding my abusive marriage. I hope you remember me from my previous postings to you (Abusive Husband). As you know, I was in a horrible fifteen year marriage with an abusive man. After some advice and counseling (from you and others), I finally got away.

Back in July, I found a wonderful attorney who advised me. I left the family home, moved into my own apartment and filed for divorce (I could NOT get my husband to leave). I filed for divorce with "cruelty" as one of the grounds. I asked for spousal maintenance and sole managing conservatorship of our daughter (almost 11 now). He filed a countersuit alleging adultery and asking for joint custody of daughter and stipulating that I not move more than 100 miles away. At the temporary orders hearing, that countersuit was basically thrown out. I received substantial spousal maintenance/child support and sole managing conservatorship for a six month period pending a final decree. He received standard visitation.

Over the last months, he has continued to make my life miserable through our daughter. I have never refused his access to her, however, when his weekends come up, she only wants to spend Saturday night with him, not Friday because she has to be up early for ballet on Sat. morning and needs me to help her with her hair. She thrives on this routine and I thought everything was understood by her dad. He gets her at 6:00 on Friday night, brings her home at 10:30 pm (bedtime basically), she goes to ballet with me on Saturday morning, and he picks her up after ballet and she stays with him until at least 8:00 Sunday evening. He tells my daughter this is fine and then gets me on the phone to tell me he's gonna put me in front of a judge and have me straightened out for not allowing him all his visitation. He scares me, not with actions necessarily, but with looks and voice tones.

Now for part two. Last week, I received notice that he has filed ANOTHER countersuit, via a new attorney. This time he asks that I receive a disproportionate share of the community assets (which are substantial) and that he receive SOLE custody of our daughter and that he ONLY retains the right to determine the residence of the child. He knows I cannot live in the same town as he does, because he attempts to control me STILL. I have a victims attitude with him and seem to fall apart when he starts ranting and raving. He has asked for a JURY TRIAL.

My attorney thinks he is just trying to get me to back off my demands and he told me to not CAVE IN. I'm so distraught, however, I cannot sleep or eat or even think clearly. This man is probably mentally ill and I believe he will make my life as miserable as he possibly can. I think he would rather be in prison than have me prevail. I am worried he will do something drastic to our daughter or me. He is not above doing ANYTHING to get his way. My lawyer tells me I have to comply with visitation, but my daughter does not want to go because the erratic behavior (which I always protected her from) still continues. I don't know what to do or how I impress on my lawyer how scary this man is. FYI, my lawyer knows the same info I wrote to you and all he ever says is what a "weasel" he is.

Although at one time my family did not support me, I now have their full and fierce support, thank GOD! Even my mom who never wanted me to leave knows that would be the best thing for my daughter and me.

Your advice and wisdom would be deeply appreciated.




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