I am married to a guy who I can't do anything right. If I do anything it is wrong (i.e., I made dinner the other night, I was waiting for him to come upstairs, while waiting the cheese on top of the shrimp parm. got a little brown. He rolled his eyes and deep breaths.) He never talks to his children he yells. They are 3 and 5 and he treats them as they are 15 and 20. He talks to my children and if they do not answer quickly enough then he ignores them. Like today, he asked if they wanted pancakes for breakfast, they didn't answer in a split second and then I told them to answer there father -- then he got mad and said that I coach them and that they can't answer him unless I tell them too. It is just that I know that if they don't answer quickly as expected that he will get mad.

Something is obviously bugging your husband, and you will never know what it is until you ask him. Plan a quiet dinner or relaxing evening for just the two of you - make arrangements with another parent to take turns throwing an overnight party for the kids - and tell him you're concerned that he's appeared frustrated lately. Don't tell him he "is" upset or aggravated, rather express your concern that he seems upset, or that it has appeared that way to you. That way he may not feel he needs to defend himself, rather simply accept that you've picked up some odd signals. If he doesn't come around right away, subtle keep reminding him that you're there for him and that you're on his side (it's a stretch, but maybe you take the kids' side more than his?). When the tension becomes too much, for you, him, and for the kids, it's time to visit a counselor.

"X"

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It's so hard to be a wife and a mom! It sounds like your husband may be a bit insecure and boosts his own ego up by "stepping" on yours. This IS NOT right, but if you understand, perhaps you can deal with it better. Try, and I know this is hard, to not defend yourself when he criticizes you. Just let him know that you heard his complaint.

With regards to his treatment of the children, be honest with yourself and decide whether or not, some of his complaints are justified. Kids are masters at "divide and conquer" and can split mom and dad in two! IF he really is abusive and that includes, verbal and mental the same as physical, try to get family counseling first and if that doesn't work - GET OUT! Don't destroy your children!

"Boomer"