Please bear with me I am very new to this means of seeking advice, but I would appreciate some input. I am a twenty-eight year old, seperated father of one. I was dating a woman for just over a year and a half, when she told me she was having difficulty accepting my six year old son. I understand her issues and agreed to remain in her life as a friend to help her as she takes the time to have her issues dealt with on a more professional level. In the mean time, I have a friend that I have known for over ten years. She is smart and beautiful, witty and fun to be with, but we have only ever been friends. My son has taken a real liking to her and I suddenly see that, not only is she good with him, but she is absolutly perfect for me. We have all the same interests and have shared our lives openly without secrets since we became friends. I do not want to hurt the girl I was seeing by rushing into a relationship with someone, and I do not want to lose the friend I have by creating an awarkness that has never been there before. What is the best way to handle these feelings that I am experiencing.

I don't think there's any way to handle feelings, you just have to learn to accept those that you have and react to them in the best way possible. If you are worried about choosing between two women, well, there's not much I can say to help you - you have to do that on your own. As far as I understand, there's nothing that says you have to be with either woman immediately. If you enjoy their friendships, then fine, enjoy. If you are interested in pursuing one relationship further, then pursue one. Only one at a time, please, otherwise I can already hear the next letter. There's no reason why you should feel obligated to wait for a woman, unless you want to wait. That's what I think you need to distinguish - do you feel you have to wait for this lady to get her life in order, or do you want to wait. It's a big difference and it's a difference you need to identify before you move forward with either woman.

"X"

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Your primary concern should be your son! You helped bring him into this world and you are responsible for him until he can go out into the world by himself. So, if your friend is having "trouble" accepting your son's place in your life, SHE has NO place in your life!

As to your long-standing friend, you do risk a strain on your present relationship if you attempt a deeper relationship than she is prepared to give. However, you'll never know unless you ask, whether or not she is interested in shifting into a romantic relationship with you. Be open and direct and get it over with! And good luck!

"Boomer"