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I live in Japan and my boyfriend of 4 years lives in America. I plan to return home for good next year in August. I recently went to the Philippines and cheated on my boyfriend. I discussed it with my best friend, she told me not to tell him. But I decided to tell him anyway. Honesty has always been very important to me, besides I respect my boyfriend. I thought we would be able to work things out, but he said to me on the phone that he never wanted to talk to me again. If I write him any letters he will return to sender, etc. I really thought I loved him but I guess if I did this, I don't. This is the first time I have ever cheated on him...on anyone for that matter. I thought this was the guy I was going to marry, but he wants nothing to do with me. I guess I am looking for some advice...I am not sure about what, anything is ok.
It sounds like you need to really think about what you want. You knew cheating on your boyfriend was wrong, so I don't think you "honestly" believed you could tell him and all would be forgiven. Think about whether or not you really wanted to go home to him, because it sounds like you may have had second thoughts about being committed to someone once you
returned for good. Maybe the long-distance relationship was good for you, but you weren't interested in something up-close.
In the meantime, this is all about you, leave him out of it. If he decides to work things out, that's his decision to make.
"X"
I have to agree with "X". You say you thought you really loved your boyfriend and he was the guy you thought you were going to marry. I think not. It seems to me like you really wanted to terminate your relationship before you went back to America.
And, please, don't justify your "confession" under the virtue of honesty or tell me you "respect" your boyfriend (by the way, he's your EX-boyfriend now). An honest, respectful person wouldn't "cheat" in the first place!
My advice to you would be to learn a lesson from this experience, move onward and start cultivating honesty beginning with being honest with yourself.
"Boomer"